tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46032683826348804522024-03-14T03:07:22.125-05:00A Cactus Named ValentineBeing the thoughts, essayings, introspection and occasional snarkiness of a prickly, green woman.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger176125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-86706976086542666882014-05-04T20:05:00.000-05:002014-05-04T20:05:10.630-05:00the end of an era...has already happened.
Hello friends,
Recently, I've had a couple of friends complain that I haven't updated this blog in forever, and when was there going to be another post? After I had gotten over my mild shock at the fact that they were actually reading it, I realized that it's only polite to let you all know what's going on.
So, here 'tis - and, by the way, if you are reading this, thanks for hanging out so longUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-40064850300151986292013-12-08T14:35:00.001-06:002013-12-08T14:35:23.245-06:00England flashbacks.
I was living in England when I really learned
what ‘torrents of rain’ meant. On the one hand, this was extremely appropriate.
On the other, I was climbing uphill cobblestones in ballet flats at the time,
and despite my masochistic inner satisfaction at having what I was sure was a ‘terribly
English’ experience, I was also the kind of miserable that comes with a head
cold, a lack Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-35981466155332771082013-11-25T07:37:00.000-06:002013-11-25T07:37:00.505-06:00tales from the closet
These days, it seems like almost all of my
best/favorite clothes are ones only appropriate to wear in the winter.
I suspect that this is partly due to a
longstanding body image problem that has always flared up particularly badly in
the summertime (like Regina Spektor says – summer in the city, it's “cleavage,
cleavage, cleavage,” and heaven help you if you don't want strangers on the bus
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-48321554178673824642013-11-17T13:00:00.000-06:002013-11-17T13:00:07.153-06:00a terribly late post
Weeks ago - over a month now, I'm pretty sure - I went on a retreat to Saugatuck,
Michigan, with the women of my current church. I was a
little reluctant, as I knew only two of the 26 women that were going to be
there, and said retreat was bound to involve planning, and packing, and riding
in a car during times when I could be...sleeping. Or whatever it is that
everyone else does on the weekendsUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-84244213474527931562013-09-10T15:47:00.000-05:002013-09-10T15:47:14.817-05:00Street Harassment Ain’t No Thang (and other lies that I tell myself, in order to avoid having, like, emotions)
“Hey,
hey girl. Sit down. I’m givin’ you my seat.”
This
from a skinny man on the train who was, apparently, determined to get my
attention. I was wearing my biggest shades and my headphones and toting my
usual twenty-pound Show Bag*, just like any other day on the red line. Let the
record show that I was also looking pretty good, although it might have just
been the new dress and unexpectedly Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-51309630286497610342013-09-09T20:26:00.000-05:002013-09-09T20:26:01.820-05:00I tried to think of something better to share with you today, but truth is, it simply doesn't exist.You're welcome.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-23680511401741364202013-09-06T11:55:00.000-05:002013-09-06T11:55:50.510-05:00An Open Letter to Harvey, the Nonconsensual Roommate
Dear Harvey,
Let me open by
saying that of course, I realize that this situation isn’t your fault. Winter
is coming, after all, and a nice warm apartment like ours, full of bookshelves
to hide behind and absent any nasty old cats, must have been awfully tempting.
I understand where you’re coming from. Truly, I do.
Unfortunately,
we’ve discussed it between the two of us (that would be, Us, Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-80501611159464303782013-09-05T10:17:00.000-05:002013-09-05T10:17:09.833-05:00So Apparently Being An Adult Means You Can’t Ride in the Grocery Cart OR The Laundry Basket, aka This Sucks, and To Top It All Off, the Laundromat Doesn’t Have WiFi
Happy Thor’s
Day, people of the internet!
META-THOR.
Full disclosure - I am actually
writing this ahead of time, on Wednesday. Also, in case you hadn’t guessed, I
am sitting at the laundromat down the street from our apartment, waiting for my
clothes to dry and being slowly and gently fleeced in the meantime. (It costs
at least five dollars for us to do
two weeks of laundry down here. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-42658364757391103662013-09-04T19:18:00.000-05:002013-09-04T19:18:50.474-05:00I still think apologies are stupid (but only most of the time)
When I was a
kid, and having one of the (in retrospect, many) passive-aggressive-cold-war-turned-violent-blood-feud
fights that my siblings and I used to engage in when we were all stuck at home
yet sick to death of the sight of each other, I would often be ordered to ‘say
sorry, or I’m telling!’
More often than
not, if intimidation and/or psychological warfare had failed to force my victim
toUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-46578152331969997332013-08-05T20:52:00.001-05:002013-08-06T08:17:39.236-05:00not with a whimper, but with a BANGHello again, internet friends! I know, it's been forever. I missed you too. HEARTS.
Last weekend, I (almost without realizing it) celebrated my one-year anniversary of living in Chicago. I didn't even recognize the milestone until Sunday night, out drinking with friends, I was asked how long I'd been here, and I answered, "Well, about a year now...*pause* Actually, uh, exactly one year now. LikeUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-32183893720304552762013-05-01T23:20:00.000-05:002013-05-01T23:20:44.305-05:00a medium-length ramble
begin with the
assumption
that you are Enough.
I currently have these words hanging on my wall, above my
desk, right next to my computer screen. I hung them there because a) I am one
of those people that hangs “inspirational quotes” on my walls; I have hung them
on post-its and post-cards and the backs of playbills and the corners of
napkins and, when I am feeling particularly strongly, I Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-52872135700247537112013-04-25T23:56:00.000-05:002013-04-26T00:00:13.511-05:00The eventfulest day.
And some days you end up standing in the rain,
covered in mud, wondering why the heck
your magic hammer is so heavy all of a sudden.
It happens.
(I ALMOST FORGOT about Thor's Day this week, guys. It was that serious.)
Happy Thor's Day!
Two important things happened today:
1) Ninety-six years ago, Ella Fitzgerald was born. Happy Birthday, Lady Ella.
2) I got my tax refund! And Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-19489860194469973772013-04-18T16:17:00.002-05:002013-04-18T16:17:42.136-05:00BREAKTIME
It's time for THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK!
Happy Thorsday!
And for bonus points: Agent Coulson!
Today, at Bard's suggestion, has become Woo Apartment Shopping Day, which has very quickly escalated into Woo Planning The Next Few Months Of My Life Day, which is kind of exhausting and scary even though it's awesome (my paycheck is a couple days late, guys; I'm feeling a wee bit insecure about Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-54360316094608078432013-04-17T11:55:00.000-05:002013-04-17T11:55:33.518-05:00rain rain rain VIDS rain rain rain
Hullo, friends!
Unfortunately, Chicago has not yet decided to give up and admit it isn't winter anymore, so in a few minutes I get to walk to work in what is now rain and is threatening to turn into snow, given half a chance.
Before I go, though, I have some pretties for you.
Something lovely and sad, to go with the weather [I am mildly obsessed with this song. Like. I may write a whole blog Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-21578155137959649492013-04-16T15:51:00.000-05:002013-04-16T15:51:32.620-05:00shall I compare thee to a summer's day?Well now, lovey, if I were to do that, I would have to say that you
completely destroy my attention span
[Not pictured: Facebook, NPR, tumblr, gmail, and who knows what else is open in my internet tabs]
inspire me to excavate my Impractical Shoes
[Just lookit those sun-starved toes. Oh my.]
remind me to steal from my neighbors
[Just kidding; these were out on the curb Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-40829770175319465462013-04-06T17:40:00.000-05:002013-04-06T17:40:49.728-05:00and today's earworm is...Some of you may not be aware that I work in a clothing store.
Well, I do. It's a fairly pricey clothing store. Like, $48 t-shirts pricey. To be fair, 100% of our profits go to a Chicago charity, and the pieces are, on the whole, good quality. But STILL. When I spend my workday ringing people up for hundreds of dollars worth of jackets and sundresses and yoga pants and scarves and aviator Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-39863920433166053732013-04-03T17:01:00.000-05:002013-04-03T17:03:36.236-05:00{insert something clever here}
Good afternoon and Happy Wednesday, people of the internet!
At one point, I drafted a terribly long and thinky and super-seriously overblown blog post meant to reintroduce myself in this space, but then I lost it in an explosion of visitors and overdue paperwork. In the long run, I'm glad I did, because it was so awful, guys. Suffice to say that I'm back, I've got a whole pile of new and Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-88045706717730140912013-02-07T01:11:00.000-06:002013-02-07T01:12:42.968-06:00it's only been...what, two months?
Holy crap.
*awkward cough* Well, I have been away for awhile, now, haven't I? Just walked off for the paper one day and never came back. Awkward.
HI GUYS! (If indeed any of you are still reading here.)
So, updates:
1. I am currently in the middle of experiencing my first Chicago winter. Wheeee! Currently, I believe there is less than a foot of snow outside, so that's not so bad, but I Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-66585113804054616472012-12-18T12:58:00.000-06:002012-12-18T12:58:26.732-06:00the fiiiiinal countdooooown....
Afternoon, friends.
It is one of those days when I can't remember When I am. Like, at all. I woke up convinced it was November, and Wednesday, and about three hours later than it actually was.
So far, I'm blaming the deadlines.
In THREE days...there is a Secret Santa party happening in my house. Am not prepared. Have not wrapped my gift. Appear to have entirely forgotten how to giftwrap Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-39052843124187432682012-12-14T20:31:00.000-06:002013-04-17T12:09:41.974-05:00jailbreakin, baby.Today, the new computer arrived.
Well.
It is a Dell Inspiron from 2006, and it is many things, but 'new' is not really one of them.
NEVERTHELESS.
I can once again exist on the internet, which is a big deal, guys.
Bard, you are my favorite.
That is all.
Source: store.techturn.com via TechTurn on Pinterest
(essentially what is going down in my kitchen right now.)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-65484137490903516762012-12-13T15:04:00.000-06:002012-12-13T15:04:18.776-06:00Ivan returns!(That ... is an theatre injoke with a very long backstory that most of you may not get and probably do not care about. So let's just move on to the important bit, shall we?)
TODAY IS THOR'S DAY.
...
YOU'RE WELCOME.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming. Further blog updates will, hopefully, be coming soon...my college laptop has fizzled out on me (rest in peace, JadeUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-57480593304915281992012-11-18T15:56:00.000-06:002012-11-18T15:56:16.030-06:00today, from GoodReads
Source: thatkindofwoman.tumblr.com via Lauren on Pinterest
"Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. It's like the tide going out, revealing whatever's been thrown away and sunk: broken bottles, old gloves, rusting pop cans, nibbled fish bodies, bones. This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes, not knowing theUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-6428316795122437722012-11-15T21:16:00.001-06:002012-11-15T21:16:07.781-06:00ALSO.
IT'S THOR'S DAY AGAIN.
Guys, this is probably going to be A Thing. Just so you know.
If you can't handle that...well, you should probably leave now.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-32600129429529578692012-11-15T20:48:00.000-06:002012-11-15T20:48:41.066-06:008. book that scares you
[Real quick, guys: I just got off of work and, after a block or two of vacillating, decided to come to Starbucks and do work instead of going home and eating dinner/watching Grey's Anatomy.
I had no sooner opened up my computer than one of the baristas came up to my table and, without a word, handed me a latte.
Sign: accepted!]
*
Hello, friends! Long time, no see.
If you've been following Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4603268382634880452.post-23857344499688716942012-11-01T11:35:00.000-05:002012-11-01T11:35:04.343-05:00hey, guys. GUYS.
It's Thor's Day.
Let's all get out our gauntlets and celebrate.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0