the end of an era...has already happened.

Hello friends,

Recently, I've had a couple of friends complain that I haven't updated this blog in forever, and when was there going to be another post? After I had gotten over my mild shock at the fact that they were actually reading it, I realized that it's only polite to let you all know what's going on.
So, here 'tis - and, by the way, if you are reading this, thanks for hanging out so long!

I started this blog way back in 2009, when I was but a wee freshman in college and laboring under the delusion that I had something significant to say (I did not, but that didn't keep me from saying it, oh no indeed). I kept it up, more or less, through eight semesters, one ill-advised relationship, four months abroad, a couple internships, several jobs, and more tiny breakdowns and quiet panic attacks than I care to count. Sometimes, it's been nice to feel like there might be someone out there even passingly interested in what's going on with my life, or who might sympathize with my problems - and other times, it's been a super handy way to keep up with family and friends who are too far away to have any other way of knowing what I'm up to.

A lot has changed since freshman year, though (thank goodness)! College is well behind me now; I have a two jobs, an apartment, a professional resume and a serious partner. I'm a very different person than I was in college, and I have very different things to say. It's been surprisingly difficult to admit that while blogging here with Valentine, though, and so, as of a few months ago, my time blogging here has come to an end. If you'd like to follow me in my writings elsewhere, my email's right up there in my bio - let me know! If not, though, I still appreciate your presence this long.

As always, thanks for reading. Onward and upward!

tales from the closet

These days, it seems like almost all of my best/favorite clothes are ones only appropriate to wear in the winter.

I suspect that this is partly due to a longstanding body image problem that has always flared up particularly badly in the summertime (like Regina Spektor says – summer in the city, it's “cleavage, cleavage, cleavage,” and heaven help you if you don't want strangers on the bus staring down/rating yours), and partly due to my love of wearing tights instead of pants, which I can generally only justify under sweater dresses.

...Well, I say generally. I am becoming steadily more shameless as I get older. At this point in time, for example, I have been seen publicly in sweatpants at least once. I like to think of it as half of the special secret shame shared between myself and the guy working the late shift at the 24-hour pharmacy. (The other half, of course, was the quart of Ben & Jerry's that I purchased and took home to consume by myself. You're welcome.)

a medium-length ramble

begin with the assumption

that you are Enough.

I currently have these words hanging on my wall, above my desk, right next to my computer screen. I hung them there because a) I am one of those people that hangs “inspirational quotes” on my walls; I have hung them on post-its and post-cards and the backs of playbills and the corners of napkins and, when I am feeling particularly strongly, I have occasionally scrawled them on my own skin, in permanent ink so that they stay there long enough that my eyes have memorized their shape by the time they’re gone

And b)

Monday: the Random Cameos of My Friends edition

Good morning, people of the internet! Kevin Manley hopes you had a good weekend.

I certainly did - yesterday was my day off (I didn't get out of bed till it was time to call my dad - Happy Father's Day, Dad!), and the day before that, I got to do All The Things. Most of them involving paint. I think Saturday was the first time I have ever been involved in the cleaning/painting of a floor without backing myself into a corner. Please, please, hold your applause...

More news from the weekend:

I was forced to return Choke to the library unfinished, but I now have A Storm of Swords to replace it. If you know anything about Martin (or if you followed that link just now), you will not be surprised when I tell you that it will probably take me forty years to finish it. 

many hats

Source: vixenvintage.blogspot.com via Simone on Pinterest

Although I like to identify as a theatre professional now (does it count as professional if you have yet to be paid?), I still find myself doing a lot of things that have nothing to do with theatre, for the sake of a paycheck.

Now, for example. I'm a composition tutor Monday - Thursday mornings, and I work in catering on the weekends. Neither of these qualifies as a full-time job (the tutoring gig is only for a few weeks), but they bring in reliable money utilizing my non-theatre skills, and so I'm happy to have them.

I suspect I will have these kinds of jobs, off and on, for most of my life.

I'd just keep moving, if I were you. this is an unapologetically fangirly post about Gray's Anatomy.

I kind of love this show, guys.

I started watching it about halfway through my senior year of college (wow...I can say that....in the past tense. WOW), when I realized that the oddly homesick-like feeling I was having had much more to do with my withdrawal from medical dramas (mostly House and ER, plus the occasional Nip/Tuck or Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman rerun) than with wanting to go home and sleep in my own bed, or any silly sentimental thing like that.

I still remember being about eight (or maybe as young as five or six) and watching ER at my grandparents' house, mouth hanging open, fingers splayed across my smeary glasses because I was so conflicted about whether to gawk at or hide from the images of horribly injured people lying on tables with all their insides showing.
Now, despite their tendencies to spoil and bewilder me, I have terribly responsible grandparents, and I still don't understand why they let me watch this very adult stuff. Maybe they didn't notice? Or thought I was too young to understand? Not that it matters now. I was, and am, most definitely hooked.

[This is somewhat ironic, given my (so low as to be nearly nonexistent) gore tolerance in various other contexts. Last week I saw Cabin in the Woods with some friends, and while I will grant you that it was a very smart, very meta, very Chris-Hemsworth-aka-Thor-is-in-it movie (all bona fide ingredients for success, in my opinion), I definitely missed large parts of the second half due to having my face buried in my boyfriend's collarbone. Rotting zombies? Sharp pointy things getting stabbed through people? Scary pain-saws? Flesh-eating of any kind? Not gonna happen. I get upset when I'm playing Portal 2 and my animated character gets shot and leaves bloodstains on the wall. This should tell you all you need to know.]

Anyway, I digress. What I really wanted to tell you is that my leading motivation for becoming a better person is now so that I can be more like my favorite characters from Grey's Anatomy.

a lame apology + a video that is the opposite of lame

Hey, guys.

Well, first thing's first - as you've all no doubt noticed, my follow-through could use some work. Like, a lot. Last Wednesday I sat down to write the promised blog post, and my brain froze up like a deer in headlights (and the fact that I hadn't actually done any work that day probably didn't help). You ever get that thing, you know, that really really lame thing, where you're so scared of screwing up that you don't try in the first place?

Yep. That's pretty much my M.O. Am working on it. But it still crops up from time to time. I'm sorry about that, and I'll try to do better moving forward.

ANYway, on to much cooler things, yes?

5 Things I Learned from Production Managing the New Works Festival

Truth.

back again

Hello, friends!
So, it's been awhile since I wrote here, but Blogger tells me you've been visiting a lot anyway, which is nice to see. I've said this before, but seriously, guys - if there's something in particular you'd like me to do a blog post about, let me know and I'll do it. I'm interested in what interests you.

Anyway, here are the highlights of what I've been up to since we last talked.

1. I finished my last week of undergraduate classes. (woot!)
2. I production managed a play festival.
3. I got published.
4. I received (and signed) my contract for this summer with New York Stage and Film.
5. I went to an amazing end-of-the-year banquet with 50 or so of my closest theatre department friends. (Seriously, it was amazing. You should probably be jealous.)

The senior class, all dolled up in our banquet finery.
Photo taken by Anna Selle, courtesy of Cassandra White.

There are a bunch of things I could write about recent events, but they will definitely not all fit into one post. So I'm going to break them up, and hopefully get through the interesting stuff while it's still current/relevant. In the meantime: I hope you're having a lovely weekend, and thanks for reading!

just keep on truckin'...

Happy Tuesday After Easter! Which, if you're in school, is a lot like Happy Monday!, because we all got Monday off but probably didn't do anything sensible with it, e.g. the homework that is due this week, or in the next three weeks (feels like: eight seconds) before the end of the semester, and graduation. Time to get a move on, I guess.

Here are a few interesting tidbits from my before-breakfast internet woolgathering research:

Why it sometimes really sucks to be a female on the internet (unless, of course, you are as unfailingly sweet and nice as A Cactus Named Valentine): Promixa Thule points out some internet masochism that doesn't have anything to do with porn.

Kris Rusch on being in the arts (she writes primarily towards writers, but I think the advice works for all of us liberal arts kids) and how not to give up on yourself. Or if you have, how to get back on track.

A video about Snow White and the Huntsman costumes, which I would have loved to be a part of making, because they are gorgeous!

The most adorable thing in the world:

Source: urlybits.com via Joshua on Pinterest

That's all for now. Thanks for reading, happy Tuesday, and may the odds (for graduation, at least) be ever in  your favor...

tech week, day seven: long live tech week

Source: thedaybookblog.com via Lauren on Pinterest

[Oh, I hope not, Psychotic Baby. I sincerely hope not.]

Well, friends, this is about the end of it - after tonight, we're into show week.
As with most of the shows I've worked on, it seems simultaneously an eternity and no time at all since we first started. And now it's nearly over! Surreal. Especially since this will be my last show here at Truman (#10, at least?), before I graduate and go on to (hopefully) bigger and better things. It's a bit bittersweet, I guess, if you look at it that way.

Anyway, let's not get bogged down in the Scary Future Thinkings. Here are 10 things I learned during tech week for No Exit.

tech week: day two

Source: imgfave.com via Lauren on Pinterest

I really, really didn't want to get out of bed this morning. But it's hard to argue with that reasoning. Technically, I have gotten 10 hours of sleep in the last 48, so I shouldn't have anything to complain about, but it's hard to remember that when your day starts and ends in the wee hours.

success!

Source: failblog.org via Kimberly on Pinterest

Last night was the culmination of almost a semester's work of work for me, my amazing stage manager and our lovely actors, as the one-act play I directed, "The Blueberry Hill Accord", went up for performance!

I'm famous!

If you're interested, my friend Michelle has made a video about the academics here in England, which you can see if you mosey on over to her blog. I helped her put it together last weekend, and she's got a bit of on-campus footage on there, too. Enjoy!

deep breaths

Too many options,

Moving too fast

When all I want

Now

Is to sit quietly and think.

About when life was simple. And boring. And there was peace,

To take the place of this college/life

Excitement.

I AE'NT DED

Top Five Best Things About Sophomore Year

1. Not being a freshman! No more of that walking nervously across the campus, clutching my class directions in my fist and smiling desperately at random strangers. No more prodding helplessly at cafeteria food, my stomach rumbling in wistful remembrance of the food back home. No more being condescended to by upperclassmen. And, ye gods, no more overzealous sorority recruiters. Phew. Glad we got that over with.
2. Not being afraid of professors. Well, maybe some people still are. And of course there are those gutsy individuals that never were. I, on the other hand, can now remember with fondness the ludicrous rumors that circulated last semester about my professor's classroom mishaps/grading habits/personal life, and smile gleefully as his (soon to be modified) syllabus intimidates the freshmen. Which brings us to...
3. Freshmen! You can spot them by the campus maps clutched in hand and the slightly lost, worried expression. Also, they tend to jump when the campus soapboxers single them out. Oooh, aren't they cute? Yes they are. Yes indeedy, the poor widdle tings.
4. Getting to pick my dorm. Supposedly, you can 'list your preferences' for freshman-year dorms, but it is all a sham. You get piled into the airless, cockroachy building with all the other freshies regardless. No longer!
5. NO MORE INTRO-LEVEL CLASSES! College Algebra was the bane of my existence. I spit upon the memory of it.

That is the sum of my accumulated wisdom so far, but it has only been a week. Stay tuned for further revelations.