a terribly late post

Weeks ago - over a month now, I'm pretty sure - I went on a retreat to Saugatuck, Michigan, with the women of my current church. I was a little reluctant, as I knew only two of the 26 women that were going to be there, and said retreat was bound to involve planning, and packing, and riding in a car during times when I could be...sleeping. Or whatever it is that everyone else does on the weekends; I haven't quite gotten the hang of it yet. And then, of course, I would have to interact with people, answering the same five or six questions over and over again – yes, I work in theater, no, I'm not an actress, yes, I've been living in Chicago for a little over a year now, no, the school I went to isn't that Truman, it's the other one that you have probably never seen. And yes, I've been to the church before. You may have met me and forgotten me; anything's possible!

a tribute.

Sometimes I get horribly lonely here. Mostly it hits in the mornings - I'll think, if I never even get out of bed today, who will notice or care?, and What's the point if moving away from home if everywhere I go, no matter how cool, my loneliness comes with me?

But then I realize that I'm not really alone, not ever - and it's not because I live in a warm fuzzy awareness of the Divine presence or something, because let's be honest, I'm not that spiritual. It is because I am deeply, humblingly aware of how much help I have had to get even this far in life, how much support and unconditional love it takes to get me through every singe day, up to and including this one. Even though they aren't with me, I walk all day with my family.

7. book that you can quote/recite

I thought this was going to be easy.

But then I realized that Shakespeare plays don't count as books (I have a theory that people who hate Shakespeare do so because they were forced to experience him the wrong way; if you learned about hot chocolate by having it shot up your nose, I bet you'd hate that too), and neither do musicals (I was all set to say Les Miserables! but then I was like, oh, wait...), and then it got a heck of a lot harder. I spent several days trying to come up with something interesting and unique, but the truth is, the only real book that I can quote/recite from is the Bible.

Yep...I was a King James kid. Which actually came in really handy while
learning to decipher Shakespeare.

MORE updates on various endeavors! (now with 25% more endeavors and a 300% increase in funny pictures!)

Right, so I feel that the title of this blog post may require some explanation.

Over the course of my blogging existence, Blogger.com has been keeping tabs on my stats - things like where my site traffic comes from, where my audience is reading from (as of today, I seem to have almost as many readers in Russia as I do in the U.S. - thanks, Russia!), and which posts they view the most.

This last, in particular, is incredibly unpredictable. Today I looked up and saw that my most popular post of all time - all time, mind you, since this little cactus' very beginnings - is this one.

Dear readers. I love you. But I have to admit, you mystify me.
Don't get me wrong; it's great that you find my life-updates so interesting! But...what about the koala bears? The combovers? What about Magic Bracelet man? Has everyone forgotten the Magic Bracelet man???

Source: someecards.com via Lauren on Pinterest

reality.

"Reality is not human goodness, or holiness, or heaven, or hell - it is redemption."

(Oswald Chambers)

This morning, I don't care whether you're at church, out sunbathing, already hard at work, or too hung over to even think about getting out of bed for another four hours. I've been there, and I'm telling you, this is a fact. Reality is all about redemption. 

Something to think about today.

On a related note, this album is pretty great. I recommend it. 

on faith / sex

***Warning: this post has content that some of you may find offensive. Please realize that it's written with the intent to amuse, and is in no way intended to be insulting, dirty, or vaguely blasphemous. (Boy, I bet you're interested now.) See this? This is my tongue in my cheek. Note it. Thanks!***


"You'll just have to have faith about it..."
"I'm really struggling with my faith right now..."
"We just need to walk in faith..."

Question: What do all these phrases have in common?
Answer: They're CLICHES. They're BORING. Most of all, they're so often said in a way that is trite, insincere, and incredibly, drippingly PIOUS.

that time

It's that time again, boys and girls.
Last year, I made (and shared) some New Year's resolutions for the first time in my life. Most years, I haven't bothered, because a) my goals and desires fluctuate a lot, and b) I can't fail at something I haven't admitted to trying - right?

(One's at least an understandable excuse, but the other is just really lame. So I'm going to try not to use it anymore.)

Last post, I told you a bit about my 2011, so I won't bore you with any drawn-out reflections. But I will say that it was a pleasant surprise to look back at the resolutions I made, and realize that I may have actually sort of indirectly and occasionally succeeded in them. Here, have a look and tell me what you think.

SO META

Last post of the day, guys ... promise ...

Okay, so I just have to share some of the blogs I have been reading with you guys. I blame them entirely for how long it has been (before today, I mean) since I blogged last - I have been trawling through these guys and thinking, "Oh my goodness, how can I become this awesome?!"

(This issue probably has a lot to do with the fact that the majority of the blogs I read have a clear central topic, and here in cactus-town, we definitely don't. But that's a prickly problem for another time.)

Anyway, here's my internet reading list. Enjoy! Click on stuff! And let me know what you think.

man, forget church.

I don't feel like going.

Actually, it's a little bit stronger than that - I have been upset at the end of every church service I've attended in this town, and not in a good, sanctifying sort of way. More like in a You Just Wasted Two Hours of My Valuable Sleeping Time With Your Empty Platitudes sort of way. I have an active desire to stay defiantly in bed tomorrow morning, eat Peanut Butter Crunch, and tune into my favorite long-distance preacher, Darrin Patrick, via The Journey's website.

And you know what? You know what? I don't really think I'm wrong to feel this way. Not entirely.

wait ... didn't we just do this?

I mean, I did plan this and knew full well it was coming, but the time's flown faster than I thought possible - once again, it's time for me to pack up and get ready to leave town. I've only been home for a month this time, and when I get back, it'll be a scant day and a half (if that) before I leave yet again.

Great grief.

and the beat goes on...

I'd say it's time for an update, wouldn't you?

This week has been/is going to be a busy one; I'm not sure how often I'll get around to blogging about it, to be honest, so let me just give you the important bits now: