I still think apologies are stupid (but only most of the time)

When I was a kid, and having one of the (in retrospect, many) passive-aggressive-cold-war-turned-violent-blood-feud fights that my siblings and I used to engage in when we were all stuck at home yet sick to death of the sight of each other, I would often be ordered to ‘say sorry, or I’m telling!’

More often than not, if intimidation and/or psychological warfare had failed to force my victim to admit it was their own fault the whole time, I tended to turn pious. “But why should I say sorry?” I’d ask, folding my arms and shrugging, which was my pretend ‘let’s just level with each other’ stance. “I know I’m not sorry. You know I’m not sorry. Do you want me to tell a lie? Lying’s a sin, you know. I’m surprised you’re trying to get me to do that.”

Sometimes it worked (meaning, they gave up). Sometimes it didn't.

BREAKTIME

It's time for THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK!

Happy Thorsday!
And for bonus points: Agent Coulson!

shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Well now, lovey, if I were to do that, I would have to say that you

completely destroy my attention span

[Not pictured: Facebook, NPR, tumblr, gmail, and who knows what else is open in my internet tabs]

{insert something clever here}

Good afternoon and Happy Wednesday, people of the internet!

At one point, I drafted a terribly long and thinky and super-seriously overblown blog post meant to reintroduce myself in this space, but then I lost it in an explosion of visitors and overdue paperwork. In the long run, I'm glad I did, because it was so awful, guys. Suffice to say that I'm back, I've got a whole pile of new and exciting and slightly different things I might be writing about, and I will also include the occasional life update, as it occurs to me, because it's been brought to my attention that certain of you would sure like to know I am still alive. Fair enough!

For now, though...because they are definitely more interesting than me rambling on in the abstract about where my head's been lately...delicious links!

AFP being awesome (as per usual)

If we know each other very well at all, you will already be aware of my mad fangirling feels about Amanda Palmer. This is a link to her blog post thanking all the people who helped with her recent TED Talk (which was lovely and you should watch it if you haven't already!), and I am pretty much in love with how she does music, celebrity, vulnerability, people and life in general. Especially in this instance - it's not usually that sexy to talk in detail about all the little random people who have held you up on your way to rockstar-dom (literally or figuratively), but she makes a point of it, and yes, she makes it sexy. Here's the creative process, she says - no, there's no loner genius here; instead it's a hundred drafts and a thousand cups of tea and a million listening, critiquing, encouraging friends. Read her. Listen to her. Love her. Join the movement. You're welcome.

The Middle.

I've been following this blogger named Jamie The Very Worst Missionary for awhile now, off and on, and aside from being a refreshingly Real person (dude, she talks about poop way too much to be a proper Christian blogger; it's great), she occasionally hosts her awesome friends to talk about important things - in this case, God, Jewish holidays, categories, and living in the tension. I'm not Jewish, but I live on the Christianity spectrum, and the philosophy behind this post feels a lot like the places my God And The Universe-related thoughts have been exploring lately.

Vintage.Black.Glamour.

I think the title says it all, really. I could try to come up with something profound about blackness and beauty and portrayals as they change over time, but I think we're all smart enough to just mentally fill that in...

In other news, the show I'm stage managing closes on Sunday (that went fast!), I've got at least two more projects lined up for after that, and life is goooood, if slightly hectic! Thanks for reading, friends. Be back in a bit.

~L

it's only been...what, two months?

Holy crap.
*awkward cough* Well, I have been away for awhile, now, haven't I? Just walked off for the paper one day and never came back. Awkward.

HI GUYS! (If indeed any of you are still reading here.)

So, updates:

1. I am currently in the middle of experiencing my first Chicago winter. Wheeee! Currently, I believe there is less than a foot of snow outside, so that's not so bad, but I think all my boots and pant-hems are going to be salt-stained forever.

2. Am stage managing a show called Body of Water at Redtwist Theatre. Today, I got my comp tickets - six for previews, two for the run. I am secretly hoping my parents can come for the run, but if anyone wants to come to a preview night of my show, come get it!

3. Job searching again. I'm still employed at the clothing store, and it's lovely, but have reentered the market for something better. Aside from the overall cost of living/paying off my loans, I need to start saving up because...

4. I hope to be moving this summer! Not far; still in Chicago and in all likelihood within walking distance of where I am now. But I plan to be sharing an apartment with an old friend. The specifics are super-secret yet, since nothing is really quite planned/worked out. But. It will be REALLY exciting if we can pull it off, and I will most likely not be able to shut up about it.

5. Also (and you must have known this was coming, surely),
HAPPY THOR'S DAY.

Nice hammer, sweetheart.

6. PS Boston was AWESOME.
...
Anyway, I hope to get back to posting, at least off and on. I realized recently that this blog is pretty much the only way half my folks from home still know I'm alive and not, I dunno, starving to death in an alley somewhere (not yet!).
If you're so inclined, you should leave a comment and tell me what's been new and exciting in your lives while I've been away!

the fiiiiinal countdooooown....

Afternoon, friends.
It is one of those days when I can't remember When I am. Like, at all. I woke up convinced it was November, and Wednesday, and about three hours later than it actually was.
So far, I'm blaming the deadlines.

8. book that scares you

[Real quick, guys: I just got off of work and, after a block or two of vacillating, decided to come to Starbucks and do work instead of going home and eating dinner/watching Grey's Anatomy.

I had no sooner opened up my computer than one of the baristas came up to my table and, without a word, handed me a latte.
Sign: accepted!]

*

Hello, friends! Long time, no see.
If you've been following along with this li'l books series, you know by now that sometimes I have difficulty making decisions. Today's post illustrates another situation where, much like the Favorite Young Adult Book post, I'm probably just getting hung up on semantics.

pretty much all I have to say today.

1. We just closed Six Dead Queens this weekend. I'm gonna miss those ladies. More immediately, though, the usual post-show immune-system shutdown is proceeding about as expected.

2. As a direct result of the first point, I am now going in for my first shift at Planet Access that does not involve an enormous backpack with food, change of clothes, and laptop for going to the theater afterwards. (It's the little things.)

3. I'm going home tomorrow, for almost a whole WEEK.

Source: tuckedstyle.com via Lauren on Pinterest

I might have little-to-no money and about the same amount of upper-respiratory cooperation, but life is good today.

this happens.

It's a grey, drippy, moody sort of day. Considering the glorious red-and-gold autumness we had all the last week, this feels like a very definite turning point. As they say; winter is coming.
Under these circumstances, I have very little choice - I stay indoors and bake, and drink coffee, and clean out my desk, and listen to hours and hours of NPR.

I think I'm turning into my father, guys.

Source: greenlikebathwater.tumblr.com via Shel on Pinterest

things are looking up!

Happy Saturday, everyone!

This blog post brought to you by: I GOT A JOB.

Source: mizozo.com via Paige on Pinterest

Starting sometime next week (or whenever Human Resources contacts me about training), my days will be spent selling eco-friendly clothes to hipsters in Lincoln Square. I'm excited to start; my new boss seems like a pretty great person, one of the few that didn't look confused when I said "Yes, and I'm also a stage manager," in the job interview. Plus, the store is about 15 minutes (ten minutes walking, five on the bus) from my apartment, and it is surrounded by: a coffee shop next door, two bookstores across the street, a frozen-yogurt place down the block, and a Payless around the corner. And if you walk down far enough, there is also a movie theater. Across from the Starbucks. Because there's always a Starbucks.

(Sure is a good thing they aren't paying me in cash.)

and now, the hard part. (or, GAH YETIS ARE EVERYWHERE)

Hello, my lovely readers.
While I have not actually been ambushed and devoured by yetis cleverly disguised as snowdrifts (or rather, it being 86 degrees in Chicago today, city buses), it is certainly beginning to feel like it.

We all know that moving to a new place - and following your dreams, and being a grownup, and blah blah blah all those associated things - is hard. People who have done so tell you this all the time. It is a widely accepted fact in most of the circles I move in, including but not limited to theatre people, middle-class folk, recent college grads, and In-Denial Twelve-Year-Olds Anonymous.
What most of us don't realize until it is much, much too late, is that simply being told this is not doing diddly to prepare us for the reality. We think, "Okay, it's gonna be hard. That's okay! I will be strong! I will believe in myself! I am a Strong, Independent, More-Or-Less-Grown-Up Professional, and I can totally do this!"

Hold up there, tiger. Here are five real for real things that you had better be ready for.
You're welcome.

MORE updates on various endeavors! (now with 25% more endeavors and a 300% increase in funny pictures!)

Right, so I feel that the title of this blog post may require some explanation.

Over the course of my blogging existence, Blogger.com has been keeping tabs on my stats - things like where my site traffic comes from, where my audience is reading from (as of today, I seem to have almost as many readers in Russia as I do in the U.S. - thanks, Russia!), and which posts they view the most.

This last, in particular, is incredibly unpredictable. Today I looked up and saw that my most popular post of all time - all time, mind you, since this little cactus' very beginnings - is this one.

Dear readers. I love you. But I have to admit, you mystify me.
Don't get me wrong; it's great that you find my life-updates so interesting! But...what about the koala bears? The combovers? What about Magic Bracelet man? Has everyone forgotten the Magic Bracelet man???

Source: someecards.com via Lauren on Pinterest

as the workdays run together...

Good morning, friends!

I've been sitting here for fifteen minutes, trying to think of something interesting to write about, but I have a confession to make: my life does not come with a lot of interesting anecdotes right now. Three (four?) of the summer's productions are in rehearsal so far, and I've met a number of very nice actors and stage managers, and I'm looking forward to working with them all at tech this weekend (which will be the most epic tech I have experienced in my life thus far - I think we have four days in a row of 10/12s). Aside from that...I answer a lot of phones, send a bunch of emails, and run errands. And I watch and listen as much as I can to how the professionals around me are conducting their business.

Oh, and I've started writing a play. It is ridiculous. You can tell I've been spending a good third of my waking hours reading plays; I've gotten sucked right in.

In other news:

something intriguing

something inspiring

and something hilarious.

Happy hump-day. If you've got something interesting going on today, please share in the comments!

many hats

Source: vixenvintage.blogspot.com via Simone on Pinterest

Although I like to identify as a theatre professional now (does it count as professional if you have yet to be paid?), I still find myself doing a lot of things that have nothing to do with theatre, for the sake of a paycheck.

Now, for example. I'm a composition tutor Monday - Thursday mornings, and I work in catering on the weekends. Neither of these qualifies as a full-time job (the tutoring gig is only for a few weeks), but they bring in reliable money utilizing my non-theatre skills, and so I'm happy to have them.

I suspect I will have these kinds of jobs, off and on, for most of my life.

Monday Monday

For those of you who are off work, sleeping in, barbequing and otherwise celebrating today – Happy Memorial Day! I enjoy a good barbeque is much as the next person (and probably more than some), but it’s always a bit weird to me to try and celebrate this holiday in a thoughtful manner. On the one hand – a day off work (for some people) and time to sleep in! Yay! On the other hand … it is about remembering our dead. (And if you’re one of the many Americans who is still a bit hazy about which dead those are, don’t be ashamed; educate yourself.) And that doesn’t seem like a cause for celebration so much as for a wake. Or maybe a vigil. Still, this is how we do it. We don’t have anyone in my immediate extended family to remember today, but I know a lot of people do, and our thanks can never be enough.

For the rest of the world – Happy Monday. Here's a roundup of some of the cool things I found on the internet this weekend!

good ideas come to those who walk

It is true; I keep forgetting it but it's true. Whenever I am out on a walk, it's as if my brain, realizing that I am now preoccupied, seizes its chance to take whatever challenges or questions I've been mulling over and excitedly rips them to bits, making way for a perfectly simple and elegant solution that I really should have seen all along.

This is, of course, as opposed to my brain's usual behavior while I'm sitting at my desk trying to get to work, which is something along the lines of "Oh, wait, what? Did you want something? Mmmm, coffee. MOAR COFFEE. Oh look, a gif of a chicken falling over!" Etc. 

In a related story, I once had some friends who would go for walks - like, serious middle-of-the-day, let's-hike-on-and-on-for-miles-type-walks - all the freaking time. And sometimes I'd go along for solidarity's sake, but the whole time I'd be thinking, "What is the matter with you people? Where are we even going? Why do you all make me feel so fat? WHY IS THERE NO COFFEE?"

Well. Now I get it. And I'm seeing someone about the whole coffee thing, since that's clearly an issue...

5 Things I Learned from Production Managing the New Works Festival

Truth.

slightly largeish news

So. So guys.
The news came last week, but I wasn't sure I was going to officially do it until today, and I thought you all might like to know: I have a production management internship with New York Stage and Film this summer!

reality.

"Reality is not human goodness, or holiness, or heaven, or hell - it is redemption."

(Oswald Chambers)

This morning, I don't care whether you're at church, out sunbathing, already hard at work, or too hung over to even think about getting out of bed for another four hours. I've been there, and I'm telling you, this is a fact. Reality is all about redemption. 

Something to think about today.

On a related note, this album is pretty great. I recommend it. 

I need an attention span upgrade.

Hello, friends!

At this moment, I have six blogs and two Google docs I'm switching back and forth between reading, simultaneiously writing a shockingly overdue letter to a dear (and patient) friend, glancing occasionally at my Bio textbook, and trying to get in the mental headspace to edit some intriguing new shorts by my favorite writer to cuddle with.

Also, it's really pretty outside and I wish I was there. But I have so much work to do!
Naturally, that makes Right Now an excellent time to update the blog.