a terribly late post

Weeks ago - over a month now, I'm pretty sure - I went on a retreat to Saugatuck, Michigan, with the women of my current church. I was a little reluctant, as I knew only two of the 26 women that were going to be there, and said retreat was bound to involve planning, and packing, and riding in a car during times when I could be...sleeping. Or whatever it is that everyone else does on the weekends; I haven't quite gotten the hang of it yet. And then, of course, I would have to interact with people, answering the same five or six questions over and over again – yes, I work in theater, no, I'm not an actress, yes, I've been living in Chicago for a little over a year now, no, the school I went to isn't that Truman, it's the other one that you have probably never seen. And yes, I've been to the church before. You may have met me and forgotten me; anything's possible!

So Apparently Being An Adult Means You Can’t Ride in the Grocery Cart OR The Laundry Basket, aka This Sucks, and To Top It All Off, the Laundromat Doesn’t Have WiFi

Happy Thor’s Day, people of the internet!

META-THOR.

Full disclosure - I am actually writing this ahead of time, on Wednesday. Also, in case you hadn’t guessed, I am sitting at the laundromat down the street from our apartment, waiting for my clothes to dry and being slowly and gently fleeced in the meantime. (It costs at least five dollars for us to do two weeks of laundry down here. Can you imagine? Five whole dollars. That’s almost as much as I paid in library fines yesterday.)

not with a whimper, but with a BANG

Hello again, internet friends! I know, it's been forever. I missed you too. HEARTS.

Last weekend, I (almost without realizing it) celebrated my one-year anniversary of living in Chicago. I didn't even recognize the milestone until Sunday night, out drinking with friends, I was asked how long I'd been here, and I answered, "Well, about a year now...*pause* Actually, uh, exactly one year now. Like. As of yesterday."

WELP.

It seems only appropriate to mark this occasion with a Useful List (because I am that kind of person, yes, but we knew this already). Thus, without further ado: Ten Things To Know About Your First Year In Chicago.*

rain rain rain VIDS rain rain rain

Hullo, friends!
Unfortunately, Chicago has not yet decided to give up and admit it isn't winter anymore, so in a few minutes I get to walk to work in what is now rain and is threatening to turn into snow, given half a chance.
Before I go, though, I have some pretties for you.

and today's earworm is...

Some of you may not be aware that I work in a clothing store.

Well, I do. It's a fairly pricey clothing store. Like, $48 t-shirts pricey. To be fair, 100% of our profits go to a Chicago charity, and the pieces are, on the whole, good quality. But STILL. When I spend my workday ringing people up for hundreds of dollars worth of jackets and sundresses and yoga pants and scarves and aviator sunglasses and vegan leather handbags (I promise they're real), the class-consciousness can start itching something fierce.

I listened to this song before I went to work this morning, and it's been stuck in my head ever since. You should listen to it too. And then, for good measure, everything else he's done, because it's all awesome. 

The video's a lot of fun, too...

it's only been...what, two months?

Holy crap.
*awkward cough* Well, I have been away for awhile, now, haven't I? Just walked off for the paper one day and never came back. Awkward.

HI GUYS! (If indeed any of you are still reading here.)

So, updates:

1. I am currently in the middle of experiencing my first Chicago winter. Wheeee! Currently, I believe there is less than a foot of snow outside, so that's not so bad, but I think all my boots and pant-hems are going to be salt-stained forever.

2. Am stage managing a show called Body of Water at Redtwist Theatre. Today, I got my comp tickets - six for previews, two for the run. I am secretly hoping my parents can come for the run, but if anyone wants to come to a preview night of my show, come get it!

3. Job searching again. I'm still employed at the clothing store, and it's lovely, but have reentered the market for something better. Aside from the overall cost of living/paying off my loans, I need to start saving up because...

4. I hope to be moving this summer! Not far; still in Chicago and in all likelihood within walking distance of where I am now. But I plan to be sharing an apartment with an old friend. The specifics are super-secret yet, since nothing is really quite planned/worked out. But. It will be REALLY exciting if we can pull it off, and I will most likely not be able to shut up about it.

5. Also (and you must have known this was coming, surely),
HAPPY THOR'S DAY.

Nice hammer, sweetheart.

6. PS Boston was AWESOME.
...
Anyway, I hope to get back to posting, at least off and on. I realized recently that this blog is pretty much the only way half my folks from home still know I'm alive and not, I dunno, starving to death in an alley somewhere (not yet!).
If you're so inclined, you should leave a comment and tell me what's been new and exciting in your lives while I've been away!

today is an excellent day.

For the following reasons:

1. My Amanda Palmer CD came.

It's just. So. I can't even. ACK.
GORGEOUSNESS.

things are looking up!

Happy Saturday, everyone!

This blog post brought to you by: I GOT A JOB.

Source: mizozo.com via Paige on Pinterest

Starting sometime next week (or whenever Human Resources contacts me about training), my days will be spent selling eco-friendly clothes to hipsters in Lincoln Square. I'm excited to start; my new boss seems like a pretty great person, one of the few that didn't look confused when I said "Yes, and I'm also a stage manager," in the job interview. Plus, the store is about 15 minutes (ten minutes walking, five on the bus) from my apartment, and it is surrounded by: a coffee shop next door, two bookstores across the street, a frozen-yogurt place down the block, and a Payless around the corner. And if you walk down far enough, there is also a movie theater. Across from the Starbucks. Because there's always a Starbucks.

(Sure is a good thing they aren't paying me in cash.)

and now, the hard part. (or, GAH YETIS ARE EVERYWHERE)

Hello, my lovely readers.
While I have not actually been ambushed and devoured by yetis cleverly disguised as snowdrifts (or rather, it being 86 degrees in Chicago today, city buses), it is certainly beginning to feel like it.

We all know that moving to a new place - and following your dreams, and being a grownup, and blah blah blah all those associated things - is hard. People who have done so tell you this all the time. It is a widely accepted fact in most of the circles I move in, including but not limited to theatre people, middle-class folk, recent college grads, and In-Denial Twelve-Year-Olds Anonymous.
What most of us don't realize until it is much, much too late, is that simply being told this is not doing diddly to prepare us for the reality. We think, "Okay, it's gonna be hard. That's okay! I will be strong! I will believe in myself! I am a Strong, Independent, More-Or-Less-Grown-Up Professional, and I can totally do this!"

Hold up there, tiger. Here are five real for real things that you had better be ready for.
You're welcome.

yeti-free for all of six days now...

Hello, friends!

I've been in Chicago for a little over a week, but it feels simultaneously like it's been barely a day or two and like it's been years. I'm really glad that I didn't know beforehand how exhausting this transition was going to be, because there's a pretty good chance I would have chickened out!

Anyway, first things first: I have an apartment now! I have one roommate, but there will be three of us by October. I moved myself and my two travelling suitcases in on Monday, and my absolutely fantastic boyfriend came up on Tuesday with the rest of my belongings from home.

Here's the photo evidence:

My room, and the air mattress that is my new best friend.

Note the Lookingglass theatre poster. They seem pretty awesome.
I want to see ALL their shows this season.

onward and upward. please, God, don't let the yetis eat me.

Source: fun-gallery.com via Larissa on Pinterest

HOLA, COMERADES.

That is not usually how I begin my blog posts, you are probably aware. Honestly, I stole that just now from Amanda F. Palmer, who writes the rawest most exciting Kickstarter Project Updates ever. (Other Kickstarter-ers: take note!)
I am sitting at someone else's kitchen table, in South Chicago, at 7:30 in the evening (which for me, since I have hardly slept since for the last two days, feels like 2 in the morning), and I thought I was tired until I read her post about what she's been up to.

(Oh, and that link is, if you scroll down far enough, quite NSFW.)

I stand corrected. I am far from really, truly tired. I am merely fortitudinally inconvenienced, that's all.

MORE updates on various endeavors! (now with 25% more endeavors and a 300% increase in funny pictures!)

Right, so I feel that the title of this blog post may require some explanation.

Over the course of my blogging existence, Blogger.com has been keeping tabs on my stats - things like where my site traffic comes from, where my audience is reading from (as of today, I seem to have almost as many readers in Russia as I do in the U.S. - thanks, Russia!), and which posts they view the most.

This last, in particular, is incredibly unpredictable. Today I looked up and saw that my most popular post of all time - all time, mind you, since this little cactus' very beginnings - is this one.

Dear readers. I love you. But I have to admit, you mystify me.
Don't get me wrong; it's great that you find my life-updates so interesting! But...what about the koala bears? The combovers? What about Magic Bracelet man? Has everyone forgotten the Magic Bracelet man???

Source: someecards.com via Lauren on Pinterest

the thrill of the chase

"Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: 'I'm with you, kid. Let's go.'"

~Maya Angelou

Hello, guys and ladyfriends!

The last few days have been somewhat INTENSE. Not so much in terms of my workplace - although I did nod off and almost fall out of my chair during tech a couple nights ago; I don't think anyone noticed? - but I have been tweaking resumes, writing cover letters, and sending unsolicited Hi I'm Awesome And Soon Available For Employment! emails until I have actually started dreaming in PDF files. Don't ask. It's weird.

Source: lolzbook.com via Eurydice on Pinterest

[Oh, God ... puns. I can't believe I'm doing this. I have intentionally propagated the use of puns. Who am I anymore?????]

[Whatever. It's a koala. I have decided that that makes it OK.]

on my way, don't know where I'm goin'...

Source: bit.ly via reyna on Pinterest

I have struck a city - a real city - and they call it Chicago ... I urgently desire never to see it again. It is inhabited by savages.

~Rudyard Kipling

Wherever you go, go with all your heart.

~Confucius

tech week: day one

Source: tumblr.com via Lauren on Pinterest

Hello, friends. This week, I have two papers, three tests, three job applications and a truckload of reading due. Oh, also: it's tech week.

(Last week was spring break. I got to sleep a lot and go to Chicago. It was great. It's gone now.)

Given the circumstances, every day this week I'm going to post a silly picture that may or may not be accompanied by ranting, raving, and, if the spirit moves, general inappropriateness. You have been warned. Happy Monday.

Staunton, pt. 1: friends from the road

Hello, friends! I write you from Staunton, VA, tiny mountain town and proud "Breadbasket of the Confederacy." So far, the only confederate flags I've seen have been on the tourist brochures ... but I'm sure that'll change, sooner or later.
Anyway, I have a backlog of blog-age for you, so we'll start with what I wrote on the way here, and work our way forward to the present in a post or two, yes? Yes. Here we go.

***

Saturday morning, I jolted out of bed at the inhospitable hour of 5AM, dressed, ate, said goodbye to my family, and had my Dad drive me to the station, for the second time in six months.

update!

Phew… sorry about the long absence, everyone; you know how it is. End of semester, papers to write, packing to put off, last-minute shopping to do, blah blah blah. I'm taking a break from cleaning out my room now, so here's a little update on things:

1. I'm going HOME today!!!!!! 

Well, sort of. Not really today. Actually, I won't properly get there until Tuesday, if you want to get technical about it. Tonight Josh and I take the last train up to Heathrow Airport, because our plane leaves at 6AM and the trains do not run early enough for us to get there in the morning. So, that'll be fun. Wheeee, airport sleepover!

Trains, Planes and Taxis. Also 34 hours of travel.

I’m writing this from my home-for-five-months in England, so that all of you know that I a) am not dead or kidnapped by pirates, and b) haven’t forgotten about my blog. Again.

Anyway, to begin at departure (Thursday): Dad woke me up at 5am to tell me that it was time to go to the train station…and that there were 14 inches of snow on the ground outside. And it was still snowing. Of course, I thought, The one day we get more than six inches, and it’s the day I want to leave the country.

33 days.

Thirty-three days. A little over a month. And then, the adventure begins.
One month, to pack, plan, buy, clean, write, send, discuss, gather, fill out, arrange, check, double-check, and wait. How did this happen so fast? I'm hardly ready. Somehow this snuck up on me. There's so much to DO - and so many people to spend time with, to invest in, to get to know (and wish I'd gotten to know better) before I leave for five months.

January 21st, we arrive in London. Before that, there's a stopover in Copenhagen, after a departure from O'Hare International in Chicago, after a five-hour train ride from St. Louis to Chicago. Two days of travel, more or less. It's going to be exhausting, but exhilarating, and even more so if no luggage gets lost along the way (fingers crossed). I'll have to train myself to take at least a few pictures. I may have to buy myself a non-antiquated digital camera, and *then* train myself to take pictures...but we'll see what Christmas brings.

Dear Lord, I'm not ready. But here it comes anyway. It's funny how we pretend time goes in a straight line, when it's perfectly obvious for things like this that it's all balled up and stretched and crazy-tangled together. Most of all, I pray that I'll put this frankly priceless month to good use, and not take it for granted.

I don't have epiphanies. Just mental housecleanings.

I read my bits of Acts and Philippians today…and I don’t know, somewhere between “be anxious for nothing” and “I count all things loss for Christ,” it hit me that if going to grad school for stage management, heck, if having a career in stage management isn’t going to or can’t be an act of love and worship for me – if it’s really all about late nights, too much caffeine, and sweating the small stuff…then why would I do it?

I’m not expressing myself well.

Anything that becomes too big and defining a part of one’s identity, save belonging to and with and in Christ, is going to become burdensome eventually. I have been there. Babysitter, best friend, stage manager – these are all good things, and I have abused them and suffered the consequences! I should know this by now. But maybe it took this semester to bring it home; maybe I needed this particular intersection of events to help me realize that stage management is not who I am, it is how I worship. Just like my relationships. Just like all my other work, anything I care about at all. When it tries to become more than that – when I start stressing about my Whole Future hanging on my abilities and all-inclusive drive in this area – we run into trouble.

What’s the verse? “I led her into dry places, where there is no water…and there I spoke tenderly to her.” Possibly Ezekiel. Or Song of Songs. Either way, I understand: God needs to take us into the desert for us to come out of our stupid blindness and finally turn to him, plugging ourselves in to his goodness and beauty and richness for all our needs, otherwise we are taken in by the excitement of other things, not realizing (we are very shortsighted) that everything must needs come back to him, and when we try to detach it and make it just our own, for our fulfillment in itself, it will wither and die.

Unless I have offered up my life as a sacrifice to be taken away, broken, killed and burnt first, it is of no use, to me or anyone else. I have to give it to Him in order for Him to entrust it to me, richer and better fed than before.

You may wonder what provoked this particular post. Well, it turns out that DePaul doesn’t actually offer stage management as a graduate study program. I was confused or misinformed somehow; they have it for undergraduate, but their graduate program is actually quite different. There was something about having all my rosy-starred expectations imploded in this way that made me stop and think, and realize how heavily I have been leaning on this future career to give me some fulfillment in life. And then, of course, we ran up against some basic assumptions and presumptions that I didn’t even know I had. Which train of thought has been none too pleasant, but is always good.

I’m still in love with Chicago, though. And I still want to work and live there; I’m still turning over ideas and theaters in my head. But now I’m thinking more seriously about what I’m expecting to get out of this, what I need to do for that meaning or fulfillment, and I’m wondering about ministry. I'm surprised I've never seriously thought about this before, actually - I think all the happiest, most content people I know have some area of ministry and/or sacrifice evident in their lives.

Sorry to leave you hanging at Michigan Avenue, by the way. In future, I will know to write my adventure-days all in one go, then post them in parts – otherwise they never get done at all. If anyone is really dying to know what else happened (doubtful), though, leave me a comment:)