28 June 2012

the thrill of the chase

"Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: 'I'm with you, kid. Let's go.'"
~Maya Angelou

Hello, guys and ladyfriends!

The last few days have been somewhat INTENSE. Not so much in terms of my workplace - although I did nod off and almost fall out of my chair during tech a couple nights ago; I don't think anyone noticed? - but I have been tweaking resumes, writing cover letters, and sending unsolicited Hi I'm Awesome And Soon Available For Employment! emails until I have actually started dreaming in PDF files. Don't ask. It's weird.

[Oh, God ... puns. I can't believe I'm doing this. I have intentionally propagated the use of puns. Who am I anymore?????]
[Whatever. It's a koala. I have decided that that makes it OK.]

I have achieved new heights of shamelessness, tapping every friend of the slightest possible Chicago connectedness and brazenly asking, "Hey, do you/any friends of yours want to give me a place to crash for a couple weeks in August?" My mother has been known to talk people into giving her the shoes off their feet; hopefully I've inherited enough of that persuasiveness that someone might agree to lend me their couch for awhile.

I have discovered that there is nothing quite so invigorating - that I've experienced, anyway - as the flat-out, reckless pursuit of what you want. Especially when it's a huge hairy risk. Like, I've already bought my train ticket. If I'm careful - and find a friend to stay with - I have just enough money to live for a month. After that...I had better have found something. I am so committed right now, it's terrifying. And I've never felt so alive - and so powerful - in my life. Because, I can do this. I can run out on a wing and a prayer and live on ramen and peanut butter (and probably some apples too, Mom, I promise) while banging on every door that I might be qualified to work behind. I can ask people for help (and as a person who much prefers giving favors over asking for them, this is no small achievement for me). And I can, amazingly, run the risk of this entire endeavor blowing up in my face, because at the end of the day, I am only $25 and a train ride away from home.

(That's kind of the hilarious kicker here. For me, this is a huge risk. But in the great grand scheme of things ... this is kind of minor. But that's OK, because we all have to start somewhere, right?)

And, of course,this whole adventure has made me realize, more strongly than ever, how blessed I am to have such a fantastic network of supportive family and friends who give me advice, listen to my rantings, and, more often than I care to admit, lift me out of the huge, embarrassing holes I have been known to dig myself into. Sometimes that lift has come in the form of money (yes, money. I literally would not be here, working for free in New York, if it wasn't for my family's generosity), and sometimes it comes in the form of a swift kick in the pants. I couldn't go without either one (although my butt would probably be a lot less sore).
Thank you, everyone who's helped me. This isn't the first time I've said it, and it sure as heck won't be the last.

Anyway, that's the story for today. Don't be surprised if new news is sparse over the next couple of weeks - between NYS&F work during the day (mostly) and Chicago work during all the other time, I'm expecting to be pretty stretched. I will keep you updated on any new and exciting bits, though!

With much love (and a couple of eucalyptus leaves),

l.e. yar

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